After a little more than 35 years on this earth, I have decided to put my thoughts down on a page. I never liked the idea of journals or diaries. Maybe because in school I was forced into doing them. The process or concept didn't seem organic. I didn't need time to self reflect as a child; I had a constant inner dialogue going within myself. I still do as an adult. I am always self reflecting. I am very self aware. I am very observant. I sometimes wish I could stop myself from thinking about things all the time. They say this is what it's like to be an introvert. More on that later.
Why now, you ask? Well, I have been hurt. I've never had a pain like this before. What caused this pain? LOVE. Who caused this pain? THE PEOPLE THAT I LOVE. Currently, I don't have words to truly express how badly I've been hurt. On second thought, that's not true. I have the words to express how badly and deeply I have been hurt but I don't know how to tell them that they've hurt me so. To be able to share how immensely pained I am, that action would make me VULNERABLE.
I mean how does one tell your loved ones that they are snuffing out the last bit of hope and happiness from your soul? That you no longer trust them and believe that they no longer have your best interests at heart?
Why now, you ask? Well, I have been hurt. I've never had a pain like this before. What caused this pain? LOVE. Who caused this pain? THE PEOPLE THAT I LOVE. Currently, I don't have words to truly express how badly I've been hurt. On second thought, that's not true. I have the words to express how badly and deeply I have been hurt but I don't know how to tell them that they've hurt me so. To be able to share how immensely pained I am, that action would make me VULNERABLE.
I mean how does one tell your loved ones that they are snuffing out the last bit of hope and happiness from your soul? That you no longer trust them and believe that they no longer have your best interests at heart?
