Game of Thrones had concluded. She asks me if I'm going to be able to make home. I have a 3 hour drive back to Tennessee. It's a little after 10 pm eastern time. I say I guess so or I don't know. It wasn't necessarily an answer that inspired confidence.
She said she was mad at me. Of course, I have no idea why. She says that she asked me earlier what time I needed to leave. At the time, I said I'll leave after Game of Thrones. I didn't know that wanting to watch a tv show with the person you love would be the cause of a fight. Or rather be the end of the relationship that was recently renewed 2 weeks earlier.
The reason I wanted to stay was to watch one of the shows we both watch together. In the past, I would see all of the shows we watch the day after it aired live on tv. She would watch the shows later on in the week. So naturally, I couldn't share the details of what happened but I would like to tease her as I watched. So there was a chance for us to do this together, I jumped at the chance.
I had started to doze off at the beginning of the show. Reason being, we had finished eating before the show and I was laying on her lap(or against her). I was full, comfortable, and in the arms of the person I loved most in this world. Ironically, Game of Thrones was not the exciting episode of last week or the week before. It did have a good cliffhanger but we knew it was going to happen.
So she's mad because I'm tired or relaxed and unsure if I'll make the 3 hour drive back home. She says I don't listen to her. Tears start to flow from her face. She talks and then I just do want I want. I am definitely awake now. As her words flew from her mouth, I am thinking "Why can't I just sleep here like I did last night? My car doesn't have to be returned until 10 am. Do you have somebody coming over after I leave?" (I wouldn't dare say the last one but it popped in my head.) She explains that her dad does not approve or like the idea of us getting back together. She told her mom first and she didn't like the idea either.
I already told her before I would talk to whoever I needed to talk to help them get over their reservations. I told her before I already talked to my mom about giving you a real chance but that doesn't mean she's going to be bouncing around like a happy puppy the first time you meet. Kind of exactly how her parents are now; they don't want her to get hurt or be in a relationship with a selfish man. Hurt and pain are a part of life. Hurt and pain can be good and bad. I AM NOT HER BROTHER-IN-LAW. The very definition of my life has been one of sacrifice! The only thing that makes me selfish is that I am willing to put my wants above the feelings of everyone else, save the person I am in a relationship with. I am also not going to do or say something that I might regret. I am saying respect our choice. You may not like it but it's not your choice to make. Our life together is how WE make it.
I believe one of us is being unrealistic as to how much our families will be involved in our very household. Granted, I have no idea where we would living but I find it hard to believe that we would be going to see her mom and dad, my mom or sister, my grandfather, her grandparents every other week, or even once a month. We would have our own lives to lead, our own adventures, our own traditions. I am also not saying that I would keep her or myself intentionally away from our families. I am saying that our oneness takes priority over them.
So in my anger, I shut down. I gathered my things quietly. There's nothing to say. She doesn't want to fight for me. I wanted to know before I left if we were done. She said I don't think we should have gotten back together. Sooo....we are done. I am at least done. I am not driving back to Lexington, or going to Murray, or Madisonville. If she wants me, then she's going to have to come to me this time. God is really going to have to work on my "heart" in order to reconcile this. But who am I kidding; there will be no reconciliation. she is not coming. she has her family. She will find some nice man with an easy family to be happy with but it won't be me.
She said she was mad at me. Of course, I have no idea why. She says that she asked me earlier what time I needed to leave. At the time, I said I'll leave after Game of Thrones. I didn't know that wanting to watch a tv show with the person you love would be the cause of a fight. Or rather be the end of the relationship that was recently renewed 2 weeks earlier.
The reason I wanted to stay was to watch one of the shows we both watch together. In the past, I would see all of the shows we watch the day after it aired live on tv. She would watch the shows later on in the week. So naturally, I couldn't share the details of what happened but I would like to tease her as I watched. So there was a chance for us to do this together, I jumped at the chance.
I had started to doze off at the beginning of the show. Reason being, we had finished eating before the show and I was laying on her lap(or against her). I was full, comfortable, and in the arms of the person I loved most in this world. Ironically, Game of Thrones was not the exciting episode of last week or the week before. It did have a good cliffhanger but we knew it was going to happen.
So she's mad because I'm tired or relaxed and unsure if I'll make the 3 hour drive back home. She says I don't listen to her. Tears start to flow from her face. She talks and then I just do want I want. I am definitely awake now. As her words flew from her mouth, I am thinking "Why can't I just sleep here like I did last night? My car doesn't have to be returned until 10 am. Do you have somebody coming over after I leave?" (I wouldn't dare say the last one but it popped in my head.) She explains that her dad does not approve or like the idea of us getting back together. She told her mom first and she didn't like the idea either.
I already told her before I would talk to whoever I needed to talk to help them get over their reservations. I told her before I already talked to my mom about giving you a real chance but that doesn't mean she's going to be bouncing around like a happy puppy the first time you meet. Kind of exactly how her parents are now; they don't want her to get hurt or be in a relationship with a selfish man. Hurt and pain are a part of life. Hurt and pain can be good and bad. I AM NOT HER BROTHER-IN-LAW. The very definition of my life has been one of sacrifice! The only thing that makes me selfish is that I am willing to put my wants above the feelings of everyone else, save the person I am in a relationship with. I am also not going to do or say something that I might regret. I am saying respect our choice. You may not like it but it's not your choice to make. Our life together is how WE make it.
I believe one of us is being unrealistic as to how much our families will be involved in our very household. Granted, I have no idea where we would living but I find it hard to believe that we would be going to see her mom and dad, my mom or sister, my grandfather, her grandparents every other week, or even once a month. We would have our own lives to lead, our own adventures, our own traditions. I am also not saying that I would keep her or myself intentionally away from our families. I am saying that our oneness takes priority over them.
So in my anger, I shut down. I gathered my things quietly. There's nothing to say. She doesn't want to fight for me. I wanted to know before I left if we were done. She said I don't think we should have gotten back together. Sooo....we are done. I am at least done. I am not driving back to Lexington, or going to Murray, or Madisonville. If she wants me, then she's going to have to come to me this time. God is really going to have to work on my "heart" in order to reconcile this. But who am I kidding; there will be no reconciliation. she is not coming. she has her family. She will find some nice man with an easy family to be happy with but it won't be me.
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